This has been “a week”. You know, one of those weeks with enough stress and anxiety for several lifetimes. I’m a seasoned caretaker and medical support person, but this week added multiple new first experiences that I hope I never have to repeat. And yes covid-19 added extra layers of complication and stress. 

I courageously did what I had to do. I divided my time between home and hospital. I juggled time with my patient wife, our dogs, family updates, and me. Yes ME. Without good self care I wasn’t going to make it through. I could feel the cortisol coursing through my veins. I had a lump in my throat that wouldn’t go away.

I needed to ground myself. I needed to reconnect with the larger natural world. I needed to let myself rest in the palms of the universe.

I walked to the Kettle Pond Conservancy at the end of my street. I took my camera along. I walked slowly soaking in the healing energy that surrounded me. With each breath, I breathed a little deeper. With each step, I noticed a color, a texture, a movement. I sank slowly into a deeper and deeper healing place, a place so focused and small and teeming with minute details, yet also huge with everything across the entire galaxy interconnected. My feet grew roots down to the center of the earth and my head opened wide to the star dust above. 

I needed many reminders:

Boulders placed by the glacier are still solidly rooted in place while fungi recycle dead wood…
Birds still protect their nests and babies while toads and dragonflies blend in…
Insects still show off their flashy colors…
Tendrils still hold on for dear life…
Flowers still impress…
Seeds and berries still ripen…
… and the insects and birds still create art.

The more I walked and observed, the more I remembered that the trials and tribulations happening in the hospital room did not negate nature’s wondrous beauty. All these things kept happening whether I was here or at the hospital. I could draw on the healing powers of these images to support me through the week’s challenges.  

Cortisol drained from my body and washed away the lump in my throat. I stood taller. A soft smile appeared on my lips. The pond worked its magic again. Trauma transformed into healing. 

Thank you Kettle. All will be well and I will be able to face another day.

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